therapy

Well I have been to physical therapy a couple of times and its helping a lot. I have learned that my wrist is in worse shape than my thumb. I guess I had a pretty severe sprain. I have heard a lot of times, sprains are worse than actually fractures. This is probably one of those cases. I can ride and do some other things (changing flats not included) and my thumb will be fine, however my wrist is generally the cause of pain. It, like everything else, is going to take time.
My motivation is something that is going to take time. I talk about riding and building up to some epic rides, however when the time comes to actually ride, I don't. Perhaps it is because I know the level of fitness I was at, and knowing where I am at now is very frustrating. It's like I expect myself to go out and ride for a couple of hours with no problem. When in reality, I bonk 2 hours into a 2:15 minute ride. The level I was at before the wreck and even last winter, that's when my legs would have started coming around. Last year I was riding outside; rain, snow, sleet, or shine I was riding. Where as now, it has to be absolutely perfect. When I say perfect I don't mean the temperature, I mean wind. The wind has always been my achilles heel and I hate it. It turns me into a sketchy rider and if I am sketchy, I run a risk of wrecking. I am not afraid of wrecking again, I am afraid of the repercussions. Like yesterday for example, it was slightly windy. So I decide to move 6 tons of gravel instead of ride. I figure I will ride later in the day, but when the time came I was so tired from moving all the gravel around I just didn't have it in me.
O well. Riding is riding. What good is it if I'm not having fun? I have to keep having fun. Granite it is frustrating knowing how much fitness I have lost, but at the same time, riding bikes is supposed to be fun. If I have fun by doing a 45 minute ride then so be it. Where as if I do a 2 hour ride, and I don't have fun then that is not good. The way I see it, This is the time of my life where I am rebuilding the mental capability of riding long hours. I will begin the physical part later, but I need to get the motivation first. I apologize for the rambling about the same stuff over and over again, but it's amazing how one experience can change everything. Thanks for reading my repetitious ramblings,
The Crow